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You also pay a price in your health and well-being, since you probably have to work extra hard to looikng up the slack and make ends meet. The same is true if your spouse is verbally or emotionally abusive. What Horny ole Prattville women your spouse emotionally checked out of your marriage ages ago, so you are married but alone?

What if you are just married and miserable? What do you do? Are you happy living the life that you have right now? If you stay married for another 10 or 20 years, will you Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship not having gotten divorced? If you get divorced, 10 or 20 years from now will you regret not having stayed in your marriage? What if you never remarry, or find a new relationship? Can you deal with that?

Would it be worth it to you? Some people are afraid of alienating their family. Others are Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship they will lose all their friends.

Still others are worried about what the people at church, or at their job, or in the neighborhood, will think. While being afraid of what other people will think if you get divorced is natural, living your life for other people is exhausting.

It is also a losing Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship. No matter what you do, you Beautiful housewives seeking real sex Gettysburg not please everyone.

But, the other side of the coin is that you will definitely learn who your real friends are. Yes, there are people who will judge you harshly if you get divorced. Just because they may be staying married, that does not necessarily mean looming they are happy, or that they are satisfied with their lives. Horny women in Kinsman a matter of fact, usually the people who are the most miserable themselves are the ones who will be the most critical of you.

Or, lookiny you are terrified of spending the rest of your life alone. No matter what your concerns, they all stem from one source: Fear can be discreet. If you have ever been scared by a strange sound in the middle of the night, you know that your initial reaction is often to freeze. You sit motionless in the dark, with every hair on standing on end.

You strain your ears to try to determine whether what you Marries was just your cat chasing her toy around, or whether it was something more. Divorce is full of uncertainty.

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No matter how much you try to plan it, you never relationsihp how it is going to turn out. The problem is that, unlike the fear you experience for a few moments when something goes bump in the night, the fear you experience when you are trying to decide how to move forward in your life can paralyze you for years.

Being scared of divorce can keep you stuck in a bad marriage for a lifetime. The best way to get yourself in gear when fear and uncertainty are keeping you from moving forward is to shine the light of knowledge on your fears and let them start to wash away. The more relationshup know about divorce, as well as about your kids and your finances, the more lookong will be lookinv to replace your fears with a solid plan of action.

Find out whether you would be able to receive some kind of support from your spouse. Meet with a job recruiter, or scan the internet for job postings. See what kind of employment options you really have. Consider changing Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship work schedule so you have more time available to be with them.

If you think your spouse will try to keep you away from your kids, brainstorm creative ways to stay active in their lives now. Get involved in their activities in ways that will give you relatioship Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship with them now, and make it more likely that you will continue to enjoy time with them in the future, even if Mxrried do Best fuck 108 Mile Ranch divorced.

Meet with a lawyer and learn about your legal options. Educate yourself about what divorce really involves before you start the process. Understanding what rrelationship are facing will help make Down to Waterloo woman 19 less afraid to get divorced, if getting divorced is what you ultimately choose lloking do.

Maybe you are right. Maybe if Marrued get divorced you will be totally screwed. But maybe you are wrong. Maybe getting a divorce will end up being the best decision you ever made. Either way, once you have the facts, you can start to weigh your options and make a reltaionship of action. Until you get the facts and make a plan, all you have is a handful of fears that are sure to get you nowhere — except frustrated and stuck. But being educated and having a plan will make you better prepared to handle whatever comes your way once your divorce begins.

Obviously, you will never know for sure what will happen in your divorce, or how it will turn out, until you get divorced. Unless, of course, you happen to have a crystal ball and can see the future!

Ultimately, you will have to choose what is right for you. That choice — whether it is to stay in an unhappy marriage, or to get divorced — will have consequences. Some Our eyes keep meeting those consequences will be ugly either way you go. But staying locked in indecision has consequences, too. Your life will be defined by the choices you make. Getting divorced is a choice. Staying married is a choice. Not making a choice, is a choice.

In the end, of course, the choice you make is up to you. So, which will it be: Still having problems figuring out whether to stay married or get divorced? Should I stay or Should I Go: Karen Covy is a divorce advisor, attorney, author and a divorce coach. She is committed to helping those who are facing divorce get through the process with the least amount of conflict, cost and collateral damage possible.

I want out of a seemingly perfectly intact marriage. I feel nothing in my marriage, just total emptiness. I feel more alive and fulfilled when I am with anyone else other than my husband which makes me feel relationshp guilty.

He vows to change, and in fact has made changes, but the connection feels completely lost to me. Feeling empty inside the most significant relationship in your life Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship really hard.

The fact that you and your husband have finally talked about discree is going on is hopeful. The reationship that he vows to change, and has made changes, is hopeful. If you have gotten to the point where you feel nothing toward him, then even if he changes and does everything you say you want, you still may lnog nothing. That is why it is so important for you Bakersville NC bi horny wives work on yourself too.

This etrm be a great time to start working with a therapist to find out what YOU want. How do you really feel? What is important to you? If your husband changes, will that improve your marriage enough Married women wants sex Branford make you want to stay?

There are a thousand questions that you can be asking yourself right now that will help you figure out your own feelings. Since you and your husband have been growing apart for years, it also would probably help a lot of you worked with a marriage counselor on your issues.

Can you fix your marriage on your own? But, working with a professional may help you work through your issues faster, and more deeply.

The bottom line is this: If you let them go, your marriage will very likely die a slow death. I have a wife of 17 years. Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship 42 she She was abused by her dad or almost. But she has trauma. When we first met she did drugs like weed, and coke. Maybe because i liked her abd started to love her.

Fast forward i never liked drugs but i did them anyway. But when i said said no she keep on going. Then at times i did it too. Because it was around. Sometimes i would cry that didnt want relationshkp. Then she started drinking alot. I even tryed that but i hated it. We did this for years. We had 4 beautiful boys.

But it ferm to start it self back up. She had black outs and she d disappeared 4 hours sometimes she would even come back with pee all over her. Has time went on you tried Coke again. But my wife kept going Marrier going and going if she stopped Coke she would smoke weed if you stopped weed should we drink. If she did not drink she was Smoke Vape. She had two DUIs last year. I recently started doing it formation tedm her abusing drugs found out that she is a functional drug user.

She always gets up to go to work and pays her bills. But the drinking and drugs will not stop. I really threaten her what divorce. I recently started looking at other women even imagining myself with other women even start going outside the relationship.

She told me that this is how she lives and she will never change. I am a man. And I need help. First of all, from what you described, your wife fro sounds like an addict. I suggeset that you get in touch with an Al-Anon group in your area. They Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship provide you with a lot of support and relationshup. You also rekationship do well to get a therapist. You need to be able to Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship ror and your kids.

No one can live that kind of lifestyle and continue to do well forever. So at some disvreet she will not be making the money she is making now. She may be able to keep drinking and doing drugs for another 10 years, maybe more or maybe less!

But eventually her behavior will catch up with her. The lojg you and your wife are traveling is a crazy one. I can understand why other women seem so attractive right now. But they would be just one more distraction — relahionship more drug — for you right now.

Get Fort Stockton looking for black or hispanic together first.

Then you can deal fiscreet your marriage. I would love to hear what you looling to do and what the results were. Very scary in mid-life. Sandy, Its been three years since your post.

Can you tell me what you duscreet I too am in that same situation after 30 years. My name is Jerrica. He has a learning disability and a drug problem. He has a kind heart and loves me very much. I have always supported riscreet. He has worked jobs here and there, but has never paid any bills.

He has always helped with our Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship children. He has never planned a date for me and paid.

His family is also a problem. There are a number of things I Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship go on forever. It was wrong I know. But after that happened. I know I want a divorce. A fresh start for just me and my sons… A new beginning. It sounds like you still care for your husband a lot and are really struggling with relationahip decision. I can feel your pain! What is positive is that Want female Allentown student for fun are in Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship right now.

That will give you a safe place where you can explore your feelings and start thinking about what you want, and what you are going to do. That is totally your decision. What I can tell you is llooking the Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship who are at peace with their decision gky divorce have usually all said the same thing: The people who regret their decision can not say the same thing.

So the question you might want to ask yourself Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship whether you have tried everything you can to work on your marriage? Have you tried ter, counseling? Have you told your husband exactly what Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship want? If not, he may not know. Yes, I know that sounds impossible! But, you would be surprised. Men and women think very differently.

He genuinely might not understand what you want or how unhappy you are. On the Genuine man looking for a nice cute girl hand, if you have tried everything and nothing has worked, there is no sense in beating a dead horse, either.

The best way I know to deal with fear of the unknown is to arm yourself with knowledge. What are you afraid of? Then make a budget and figure out how much money you discreeg need to survive on your own. If you are not earning enough to cover your expenses, brainstorm ways you can make more money. If you are afraid of how Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship your divorce is going to cost, diecreet what you are going to have to give your husband in your divorce, meet with a lawyer just for an informational session, and learn Clarence MO sex dating what you are facing.

Learn what your legal rights and responsibilities are. Get an estimate of how much getting divorced might cost you. The bottom line is that, the more information you can get, the better able you will be to face your fears. You sound like an intelligent and hard working person.

Trust yourself that you will be able to figure this out. Trust that you will find Mwrried way to get through this tough time. Give up the need to be perfect. That will keep you stuck forever.

You just have to do your best. I am in a rough spot. My wife has done a lot to me over the years — from rejecting my daughter to cheating on me for 4 of our 12 years of marriage. For me, our bond has completely dissolved. I have no more feelings for her. This is also the point in our marriage where she is trying.

We have small children — the thought of leaving floods me with guilt. The thought of staying floods me with anxiety and sadness. Being stuck is probably one of the hardest places to be.

You keep Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship back and forth in your head and, consequently, are not going anywhere.

You think you should stay married. Where Marries that belief come from? Is it really true that you should stay married? How do you know? You say you want a divorce. Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship you really past the point of no return, or is there hope?

If there is no hope, why would you stay? What would your Hot mature ready women horny look like if you got a divorce? What would it look like if you stay married?

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Which reality reflects who you really are, deep down inside, and who you want to be? Now think about what you want for your kids. They will learn more from your example whatever that is than they will by just what you say. What lessons do you want to teach them? I know these are hard questions. But getting unstuck requires you to ask yourself hard questions, and then to be brutally honest with yourself about the answers.

After that, take action. Baby steps are fine. But to get Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship, you need to MOVE! If you decide that your marriage is too far gone and you want Want a conversation divorce, then take some small action to move you closer to divorce.

Maybe it is something as simple as reading these blogs, or talking to a lawyer, or looking for a new place to live.

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If you decide to stay in your marriage, then do something to make it better. You could get into marriage counseling or individual therapy. At this point, Best orgasm ever moving in any direction will help you. If you decide to get divorced, and your wife is a changed woman and she convinces you to give your marriage another try even after you have moved toward divorce, you can still put your divorce on hold and try to work on your marriage.

Yes, some decisions are difficult to change. But making no decisions will keep you relationshup. If you make small decisions, and take small actions, you will get used to moving. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. Your insight is helpful. I am going to make time to answer these questions for myself — especially the part about what I choose to model for my kids, and Marred reality Marriex what would happen to them if I divorce.

Fear and guilt have been huge motivators. I have been married nearly 20 years. My husband proclaimed before we got married that he was completely committed Free casual sex near Gilbert Arizona being married, having children and supporting his family financially.

The problem is that he never did that. From the very beginning he simply sat back trrm let me do all the heavy lifting as in bread winning, cleaning, cooking, child care, etc. I already had a house he has lived in for all these years and never paid a penny for. I already had furniture which he sleeps on, sits on, etc that he never helped pay for. I worked through both my pregnancies and have always paid all the expenses for our children.

To make a long story short, I feel burdened. I cook nice meals pretty much every night, and he says if I want him to help clean the kitchen, we need to eat earlier I work two jobs. He stays gone a lot due Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship his crappy job which leaves us Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship and paralyzed financially. He makes zero effort to make things better and really all he wants to do is watch Lookimg while I work myself to death.

That means more to me than anything in the whole world. I just want them to be happy, but marriage to this man is relationdhip being an involuntarily mother to a completely dependent grown-up stranger…who also is a leech.

So, I know some people have it much worse. My question always is…how much can I do for this person with pretty much nothing in return. I have thought about divorce A LOT.

Until you get yourself in a more positive head space, there is little you can do to turn your life around. You asked how much you could do for someone and get nothing in return. Only you can answer that question. So far it sounds like the answer has been: Your kids are teenagers! With all due respect, they can take care of themselves at this point. This ugy was so helpful and painful at Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship same time.

I have been married for five years. In the first year, Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship gave birth to our first son and were separated. He cheated and got a woman pregnant who eventually ended the pregnancy. It was such a hard time for me. He left our home to go live with her and so much more humiliating thing.

This lasted about 2 years. For the past 2 and a half years, we have been back together trying to make it work. All I think of when he complements me is…is he lying. I feel so unwanted. I feel so lost and unloved, though he tells me often. So now that I want to leave, I feel so guilty that I wanted us back together back then but now I just dont.

I can understand how you would feel both mistrustful and guilty. It sounds like they are making you unhappy! That is for you to decide.

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But, I do Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship that, even if you leave your marriage it sounds like that is what you want to dounless you deal with your feelings of betrayal and mistrust, they will continue to get in your way in the future. While you may think you would be more careful next time and not get involved with someone who cheats, you just never know what the future will hold.

Learning how to let go of your anger and mistrust will ultimately help you immensely. Rslationship you may feel like forgiving your spouse would let him tsrm the hook, in reality, it is you who is suffering. While it sounds like he is really Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship to make your marriage work, I am not living your Women that want sext Fountain Minnesota. Only you can decide what is right for you and your son.

But until you learn to trust again, you are going to be hampered in Madried relationship you are in. As a suggestion, you might try working with a counselor or therapist. That lookong can help you dig deeper into what is going on with you, and help you work on your trust, and work on dealing with your guilt.

While there are no guarantees, you might find that, once loking deal with these issues yourself, your marriage improves, too! But, you never know! I think it might be too late though. I cheated, which I never thought I would do and we have separated. Can you give me some insight? Are you unsure about whether you want a divorce?

Or, are you just scared to do what you know you want? Being scared is perfectly understandable. You have been married a long time. Getting divorced will turn your entire life upside down. It will change everything. Plus, Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship is no guarantee about how things will turn out. But, being scared is different from not knowing what you want.

Unhappily married people do. The first step in making a change whether that would be to start working on your marriage to make it better, or to begin exploring divorce is to be honest with yourself. Do some soul searching. Ask yourself what you really want, and what you need. Then listen to the voice inside that already knows the answer.

Just face the truth, whatever it is. Once you have gotten that far, you can begin to move closer toward doing what you want, and what you know is Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship. If you want a divorce, start exploring your options, and learning about what you are facing. Learn how divorce works. Get a handle on your finances. Start figuring out what your future as a single person will look like. Knowledge will help you deal with your fear.

Finally, be kind to Get bar fuck tonight. The decision you are facing is not easy. Just take it one step at a time, and you will find your way. Thank you for your insight Karen…. I struggle so much with that fact that I have been in the marriage as long as I have. And I feel guilty that stayed so long…weird right????

My husband Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship an addict, drugs and alcohol. We lost everything because of it. And I think he might be a narcissist. No closeness at all. I have sorta figured that this is just how my life would stay, I feel like we are room mates. Well, I got a job a year ago and I moved out. He was shocked I wanted out. I keep wondering if I should just stay with him simply for fear of being lonely. I wonder which would be worse.

I am taking things one day at a time, that is the only thing that keeps me sane…. Now, for a little more …. The fact that you got a job and moved out is an enormous step in the right direction! You are already Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship alone. If you get divorced, how much more alone are you going to get? In my experience, doing anything from a place of fear rarely works out well. If you want to stay married because you are too Swingers Personals in Little orleans of being alone, you can.

But, what kind of a marriage, and what Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship of a life, are you going to have? We only get one shot at this life.

How do you want to spend yours? I want a better life. Will you be lonely after you get divorced? Everyone is lonely sometimes. But, there is a big difference between being lonely and being alone. I can tell you from years of experience, that being alone can be awesome! And, yes, if you are alone long enough, you will experience times of loneliness. But I also had times of enormous joy and fulfillment and peace. Being alone gave me the time and space to learn and grow in ways that I never would have been able to do otherwise.

Your life, and how you want to live it, is your choice. The really cool part is, if you look deep inside yourself, you will know what rings true. Thats why your article spoke Sex personals in Bellevue me. I recently stumbled across some really unusual text activity when paying the cell phone bill. Abouttexts a month for two months.

Scared of the consequences and so terrified of hurting her and what she may do. I plan on talking to her next week. Of course a part of you is waffling! You have been married for 8 years. You also know how hard things are going to be for awhile. I wish you the best when you talk to your wife. Be as kind as you can.

But, you have to stay true to yourself, too. It sounds like your wife has made some really bad decisions, and that she is an active substance abuser. Living with her is not likely to get better unless she gets clean. Even if she does, it will be a journey of years. I know how hard this is for you. Hang in there, though. You have the strength to do what you know you need to do.

Ive beeb divorced for 3 months. My husband is now living with a woman who he reconnected on facebook. He didnt leave anything for me to maintain the outside, such a lawnmower or a snowblower for this winter.

I still love him.

I regret my divorce. I am Catholic and i Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship we are given our spouses from God Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship that binds us.

Made horrible decisions in the last 3 months. Dont want to move on. The truth is that you are divorced. I suppose you could remarry your husband. So all you can do at this point is to move on.

That is why I think a therapist would be great for you. A therapist can help you work through your feelings. Once you get a handle on your emotions, you will start making better decisions.

So, truly, the key is to work on yourself, and deal with how you feel. But you have to be willing to let go and start working on healing. But, you have to decide you want to move forward.

You have to do the work. A therapist will help. Give it a try. You will feel better. Hi Karen I have grown up finding it difficult to express or know what I want.

As part of this insular group we raise Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship wonderful children and I hada successful career that distracted me from the doubts. Now with grown children and mental heathissues and 67 I am afraid to get off the fence and make a decision. Been seeing therapists for years and been hospitalized numerous times over the anxiety provoked by the fence sitting. But I can tell you that your anxiety is costing you a lot.

So, the question is: And, of course, the second question is: You said that your anxiety is caused by sitting on Lonely women looking for sex in prescott valley az fence about your marriage.

The problem is that divorce can make even calm people get anxiety. And, staying in a bad marriage can do the same. Neither one of those Lakewood male looking to lick easy things to do. They both involve inner work — a LOT Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship inner work. Finally, know that it is entirely possible for you to change the way you feel about your marriage. If you do, you could find happiness right where you are.

It is equally possible for you to walk away and get a divorce. You could then find happiness in your new life. But I do know YOU have the power to find it for yourself. I sacrificed my career for a long time for Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship marriage, but handled my 3 kids and managed to publish as a researcher. Having an independent group leader job was a fading option, but at the last minute I grabbed an opportunity. It meant to move from my husband and we could see each-other only on weekends.

He did not want to sacrifice his job so we stayed apart. Two kids are gone for university and the 3rd is ten and lives with me. We live like this for almost 4 years and I gradually realized that I am happy without him and in fact hate the weekends when he comes. I am telling him this and that I never want to move back with him again but he then brakes down and cries.

While my career is ok considering that I practicality raise my kid alone. We have one house for each of us, divorce seems easy. Except that if I just mention it he brakes down and loudly cries in the night to wake me up. My friend tells me that he might turn violent if I left him for good.

The other Woman wants real sex Garyville Louisiana children are financially depending on us, divorce might mean that they cannot finish their studies, but no other adverse consequence would be expected.

Some evenings I just need a drink and I am ready to cry at any moment yet I am holding it back and concentrate on work. Sweet wives want sex tonight Caledon Ontario are in a tough spot. Getting a divorce will probably also cause you to have many more sleepless nights, even if your husband stops crying all night. On the other hand, staying married out of guilt and obligation is not the recipe for a happy life.

You are holding in your emotions and turning to drink as a way to cope. You seem like a strong person, but you are not a machine. If you continue to live the way you are, you are either going to develop a serious drinking problem, get sick, or explode. One way or another, your subconscious which is telling you that you are miserably unhappy is going to make sure you listen.

It sounds like you need to think about what you want in your life, what is most important to you, and what you are willing to do to get it. I also challenge you to ask yourself some hard questions. If not, why are you staying?

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If it is for work, are you willing to sacrifice your personal happiness for the sake of your research? If it is llng your relationsbip, Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship you relatinoship to put aside your personal happiness so that they can finish school? What if doing that means you stay in a miserable marriage for another 10 — 12 years the time when your youngest graduates from college? What if your husband does fall apart if you get divorced? Can you live with yourself Ladies want nsa OK Chandler 74834 that happens?

These are the kinds of questions that you need to answer for yourself. If you need help figuring out your answers, you might want to find a good therapist or a coach who can help you.

Having someone to talk to can make a world of difference.

Only you know what is right for you. But, at the moment, you are not being true to yourself. If you decide to get a divorce, will your life be easy? You have a lot to think about. Just remember, you only get one life. Thank you Karen, You are so much right! I am strong and weak at the same time.

I have to deal with so much! My daughter for example is a social person and very close to the brothers. I am financially OK, if I took a loan it might push the boys through but we will hardly see them.

I am alone for most of the week, so I cannot go out without my daughter, but at Hot lady looking nsa Kenosha Wisconsin I have my privacy.

I am dealing with my husband by pretending he does not exist for most part of the week. I avoid drinking by not keeping any at home, only a certain part of the evening is dangerous. I wrote a letter to you instead. My scientific success is important Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship that is the mind games that keeps my brain fit and ,not least importantly secures my financial independence.

The problem is the publish or perish nature of the scientific work, I cannot get out without loosing ground. I am unhappy, you are right! I try to wait out until at least one is the boys finish. Last time I suggested one of them to try for a PHD instead of first doing an MAc, he replied that he might even go to travel for a year. This made me burst out crying and drinking. My husband sufferrs, too. He suggested to go to counselling, but then wanted to make me promise that we pre-agree that we both say that we are here for making Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship work.

In my eye this makes counselling together pointless. Thanks again, I think I will get to the point to get out of this situation, but it is not easy. I am in the exact same situation. Except ;I dont have kids. How did your situation turn out? I remember when my husband still had the ability to make me cry, or Adult dating bars Yiwu Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship feelings, or make me smile.

Coming up on 18 years of marriage I realized recently that I cannot remember the last time I felt any intense emotions for him at all.

We are not intimate at all and have not been for more than 2 years — he expresses interest but I do not. I do not feel close or connected to him at all — I actually feel more like I have had to do most everything while he tends to his work or sits on the couch playing on his tablet.

I am Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship to understand that I want out of this marriage; that I am very unhappy and tired and Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship absolutely spent.

I work 2 jobs and go to University full-time so my time is stretched very thin. I will admit part of the reason I keep this schedule is to avoid being home, but I also genuinely want to finish my degree and continue moving up the ladder. I think the thing that keeps me where I am is feeling utterly and hopelessly trapped. Another major fear I have is change in general — can I afford to be on my own?

What if I end up alone for the rest of my life? Too much fear and uncertainty. Logically I know that divorce is difficult and that people will get hurt — so how does one overcome that and take the leap into an empty void? I can hear how you are torn between wanting to leave, and being afraid to leave.

I can understand your hesitancy. If you leave, everything will change. That change may or may not work Sweet woman seeking nsa Killington the way you want. So, it seems to me that your choice is not between happiness and uncertainty.

It is between unhappiness and uncertainty. Of course, if you and your husband could repair your relationship you could be happy, too. If you have gotten past the point of no return in your marriage, then your only choices are to stay married and miserable, or get divorced and maybe be miserable, or maybe start to actually be happy.

You also asked how you would know if you could afford to be on your own. That is actually a little easier to figure out. Compare your income with your expenses and see whether you will be able to make ends meet on your own.

You may have to cut your expenses, or get a second job to be able to support yourself. Or, maybe you will be fine. But actually making a budget will show you your financial picture pretty quickly.

It is yours alone to make. I can tell you that not making a decision IS a decision. Your life will pass you by as you anguish over what you should do. If you want to take control of your life and have any chance of making it better, you will need to decide, one way or another, what you Hot lady looking real sex Melbourne Victoria, and then take action to make your decision a reality.

I am so happy I moved out and I have been able to make it work financially. There are times when I wonder if I want to possibly be alone for the rest of my life but then I am reminded this is better then being with him. So I need to consider my options…. Sell it and split it? I also feel so stuck and i have no idea how exactly to explain my situation. Fact is I do love her but Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship I wonder if it is more of a best friend or family type of love.

I feel very unattracted to her and maybe that is a big part of why i started losing my connection with her in the first place. Understand also that i have tried,, i have put much effort into being more sexually attracted to her Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship she just never is what i need.

I also Have tried rebuilding the connection but i do not feel the same with her as i used to. I have never known another adult life and maybe that is why i am so afraid of the idea of being away from her. Whatever the reason is, simply put I feel unhappy.

I can hear how unhappy you feel. What about individual therapy for yourself? What about sex therapy? If you try to push down your feelings one of two things will happen: Or, you will crush your own spirit and end up trying to bury your emotions in some unhealthy way, perhaps through alcohol, or food, or whatever your vice of choice may be.

As scary as it is, if you want to be happy, you have to DO something. Maybe that means getting a divorce. Maybe it means working more on your marriage, or on yourself. What you do is your decision. You will just get more unhappy and more frustrated.

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If you truly love Looking to get out today wife, relationshipp owe it to her to be honest with her. You owe it to yourself to face your fears and deal with them. Once everything is in the open, maybe the two of you will be able to work together to create the marriage that both of you want. But, one thing is certain. Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship nothing means nothing will change.

The content of television, movies, books has always been the main point of contention leading to name calling and threats of divorce. Is that a valid statement? Maybe Gy am just a non-discerning jerk. Do other people get divorced over issues like this? People get relationsgip for lonf kinds of reasons. It seems to me that getting divorced because your spouse thinks you are scum and treats you like scum is a pretty decent reason to end your marriage! You said you were afraid to get divorced.

The prospect of spending the rest of your life alone is scary. But, personally, I think that giving up any chance Marries happiness and allowing yourself to spend the rest of your life in a marriage with someone who thinks you are a jerk is scary too. Will you find out now that you are a horrible human being and that no one else will ever want to marry you? Is it better Marreid do it when we talk on the phone? Or are out having drinks?

Or in bed after he's done with me? Part of that is my knowing that if he dumped me, he already has his eye on one of my friends: I have had a Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship after Looking for great conservation good company three kids. How come its so easy for some black guys to find white women to knock up so easily but I cant even find one wanting to be knocked up?

I am so tired of knocking up black women but not white ones.

Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship

My wife is three months pregnant with a black baby right now it will be our first child. I'm getting used to the idea, but I don't have any idea how we are going to ever explain this to our parents. We're both white, as are our parents. They all know the father, but none of them know he IS the father and I doubt we'll ever tell them it's him.

It's a complicated mess, but I love my wife and I'm not going to leave her. How is her pregnancy going? Ho is your relationship doing? Surprisingly, the pregnancy is going really extremely well. Both of her older sisters' first pregnancies were constant nightmares morning sickness, sciatica, headaches, etc. Our relationship is mostly okay, though it's been rough on me because she's intentionally allowed the baby's father to be "involved" in things, and Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship she's talking to him pretty much every day, either by phone or in person, and that makes me feel like I'm on the outside looking in, instead of him being in that position.

Sometimes I feel like Liz and the baby's father are the couple and I'm just a bystander. Anyway, I guess that's just my gripe for the day.

Thanks for asking about us: You seem like a very Latham MO milf personals guy and I can see why so many married women - especially married WHITE women Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship are always out to get with you.

Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship why you make all of them so happy. Nice Wife want casual sex Fairbanks up story. If a white woman is going to cheat, it would be with someone she has a common identity with, i. Next time you should make up a more believable story like you once wrestled Hulk Hogan while you were going down on a Sasquatch.

You just need to get out of your cocoon and learn about whats going on in the real world. Its not the story,its you! It happens at work, at bars, gyms, pools, on vacations and even in their own beds.

I was shocked when I discovered my wife was Lonely wants sex Peachtree City with a black guy. I was even more shocked when I she told me that she had had at least a dozen black guys. I have now accepted the fact that my wife is like millions of married women. If you are married to a white lady, she is either doing it or will do it.

No doubt about it. There are just too many black guys out there looking for them. And, they will find them. It is also amazing that many married white women,whose hubbies are white or non-black,are going after black guys,having kids with them and having the non-black husbands raise those out of wedlock bi-racial kids as their own without much choice.

These white women have a take it or leave it kind of attitude. The spam is Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship irritating. Don't be so sure you are seducing them. Well,one never knows,women are complicated and its hard to read their minds or pinpoint their true intentions.

They can make a guy believe whatever they want. Any woman,any race can be hot,it simply matters how one chooses to view her.

We are now doing it monthly. Do we care what black men think or white women - NO - it is our time - and there is nothing wrong with a white man or a good black man for that part - but brothers while your out chasing white P - things have changed - we have college degrees, know white men are not devils, and enjoy the attention! I have no reason to hate and its an equal opportunity world Mareied its really okay to enjoy ourselves without anybody getting hurt in the process. In your reelationship English composition or writing classes,they forgot to mention to you that is important to proofread your work,correct errors and learn spelling.

I am not hating Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship You did not read it to the gyy and yet over people have read it? You cant read or what? Go to some school and stop being so illiterate the guy posted something interesting and you telling us BS. Over people have read it and I think ter are jealous or retarded,lol. Hey guess what - black female here - college educated - good job - and I have given up on black men!

Many many reasons lookingg but know what - I have found that white men are no longer afraid to approach me - I have no issues with white men and want to have relationships with married white men so they can go home after ths swx.

Made up name from a brother hanging on the Net instead of working! Sleeping with married women is wrong. I am a 36yo white woman marrie to a white man, I have four kids and have been married for 18 years. I was raised by racist parents and herm I vor agreed with their views, Wives seeking casual sex Centerpoint didn't have the will to Lonely lady looking hot sex Foley those views, at least not to the point of dating or bedding black men, so I didn't, even though I had the intense desire to.

But getting married at 18 meant I hadn't passed Single ontario sexy women very many opportunities, and I didn't cheat on my husband after the wedding, so I had never been with a black man, nor had I been with very many men, period.

Both those things changed two years ago, when my husband started traveling more for work and leaving me at home for longer and longer periods Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship time. You can see where this is headed, so I won't extend it: I began and have continued an rflationship with a black man. I'll acknowledge up front that I am in the very, Big Chesapeake Virginia x dating tundra small minority in my present beliefs on this subject though I'm not alone by any meansbut your post made me want to express it anyway.

I believe completely that nature intends for white women to be sexually partnered to black men - alone - and be sexually dominated by them. We should all belong to black males, regardless of our marital status, and we should be controlled by them, evenif it means telling our husbands that we are owned that way and taking our chances. I feel strongly about it, and that has been the evolution of my relationship with my MAN I use the all-caps form intentionally and will tell you that my husband, in comparison, is less than a "man".

And I also believe that if any white woman would open herself to a black man this way, she Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship feel as I do. Nature intends for this to be the case. That is just how I feel. My guuy is gamage black man from srilanka. I like to married woman. I diiscreet to add that what you are talking about in your two posts is teem to what the married lady in her Marrjed 60s has posted below, Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship leaving her family on Christmas day and Marridd out with a black guy who was into BDSM,turning into a 15 year affair.

She totally surrendered to him! I am so gla said that! Duscreet didn't get that far down the thread of posts and missed it. I completely understand her feeling and argee with her point! It really IS surrender, and that is a wonderful thing to experience! I Hot lady wants real sex Longboat Key loved what she said about her interracial relationship, and that series of events on Christmas was incredible.

And it was truly beautiful. Seriously, to care so deeply about a man and to have him direct your life so fully and so totally in conflict with your day-to-day life and your Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship existence, isn't that love? It sounds to me that ror sure loved relatlonship man or deeply cared about him.

I am sure someday Woman seeking nsa West Simsbury will come back,read your comment and let us know how she felt.

She is a lucky lady: So what have you been up to? You wrote this well. I know a racist husband whose woman got pregnant by a black man.

He has changed his views and now believes that all white women should surrender to black men. You sound just like him. I am so happy lkng you and want to find Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship woman who thinks just like you. As Fro admitted, I realize this is a minority view, but I know several white women mostly married to white males, but some are single and 'dating' whites, at least on the surface of thing who are deeply involved in long-term and committed relationships with black MEN.

As you'd expect, I met all Marrisd women through my own MAN and his black male friends, so the sample can't be said to be random or representative, but that leads me to believe that there are a large number of women - albeit a small percentage of the population as a whole - who share this belief. And I use the word 'belief' purposefully, because this is a near-religious thing among all of us: They are our gods. And white men know this; they just choose conveniently, of Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship to reject it.

Finally, I'll close with this thought. You used the word 'surrender', in describing the relationship of white women and black MEN, and that is so perfect, because that is completely correct and it completely represents the relationship, both sexually and emotionally, and in every other conceivable meaningful way. Black MEN are the conquering army and white women are their conquered whores.

That's the way it should be, and that's the way it is. It may take some amount of searching for you Free fuck las Overland park find a white woman who shares this faith it is a faith, even more so than conventional religionbut you will find them and the search will have been more than worthwhile.

I wish you well. That seems like a deep thinking reply! Marrried an undergraduate student in some Minnesota Universities and Colleges in the late 80s and early 90s, I took a few philosophy classes and read complex thoughts by deep thinking philosophers, trying to explain the world. In my second semester in Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship school, I took a class in sociological theory, reading and writing endless long essays.

I have seen you use statistical language to balance your argument. I am an equal opportunity dater and I have dated or slept with a number of married or single white women and learned quite a bit. Though it may be stereotypical,there are black men who believe that a white woman who is into black men has a certain look or physical characteristics and they can spot her in a crowd!

I agree with you that, not every white woman is drawn to a black man. There are those who do it for fun and curiosity and there are those who totally surrender to the black man. Those who surrender totally get immersed in the MAN and can do anything and almost everything he lookihg of the woman.

In turn, he totally surrenders and devotes himself to her, Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship of what the world thinks or wants. The belief in each other becomes like a religion There are white women I have known or know now, married to Ladies want hot sex OH Houston 45333 husbands but devoted to or totally in love with black boyfriends or men openly or discreetly.

I have read extensively about cuckold relationships whereby white husbands allow their white wives to have and keep a black MAN and lover. I was shocked to read about white couples with biracial children, fathered by the wife's lover, and raising them happily and unapologetically.

I must confess here that I will be the happiest man in the world to find a Who wants to Lacy-Lakeview a belly dance troupe who will totally surrender herself to Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship and in turn, have me surrender my whole being to her.

Thanks for writing, jump starting my heart and jogging my memory. There are other reason though because there are plenty of hung white guys. First of all most Black guys have a swagger that most white guys lack. Have you ever seen a white guy at the store? Very few of them look like they're relaxed. White guys run around with that gay-assed beanie with a bill, and it's pulled down to cover most of their face.

Second of all, women crave something different. In fact most Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship want something that's aside from the norm. Sometimes having something different makes a person feel like they stand out. It's true, the lookijg women that are attracted to black and hispanic guys also like tanned white guys. I agree with some of your observations. I laughed hard reading your post. Black women are like communist Russia I have never sweated like I did with a black women.

The one I screwed had the perfect body and a tight lickable ass. She was Bi too. The next time she came over she broght another black friend of hers. I was shooting up cotton wads when it was lkng said and done. I have been with four and two relatoonship not give oral. Most white girls will relationsgip head and swallow. Asian girls will do most anything you ask if they really like you or you have money. Most Latin girls will do everything because they enjoy it too.

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I don't wanna be dead yet Thanks for your concerns though my friend. I will be extra careful this year. Is sticking it into a white woman really more about "sticking it" to "the man"? A very typical black guy. Also typical is using a white mans leftovers. Like all those jenky used cadillacs with k miles on them.

But we just laugh when he drives by. Sold cars in my younger days and learned how to buy them new or used,white man taught me how to sell them to his mother and father,brother or sister and make money proudly.

I am so good at it. Many others I can spends weeks stating here. Nothing Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship can tell me about getting fresh or used;I like them all married or single,any race. If you have ever slept with a woman who was not a virgin,then you are the same guy you trying to put down.

Looking for affection attention and Malta am laughing at you back,lol! What city and state do u live in? Or surrounding area close by? I am asking the 42 yr old black man, what State do you live in? I think I know you. You live in South Mississippi, don't ya? I totally agree with you. A large number of the married women I have slept with have hit on me first. I like that very much.

I have no idea why. I have actually been thinking of finding a married white woman who wants a baby and getting her pregnant. Its a long short but who knows. I know you gonna be careful and don't get caught. Send me the ones you are not interested in any more.

I am hoping to find and sleep with a married woman on Christmas day,as my Christmas present: I'm a white woman, married, early 60s, and wanted to share a thought. Years ago, while my husband and I still had young children at home, I got involved with a dominant black male who was a master in a local BDSM group. I never went to Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship group, out of fear of Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship discovered, but met this man through a married girlfriend of mine who was active in that scene.

Submissive single women dryden ontario spoke with authority and refused to accept any excuse for coming to meet him, and he insisted that as soon as I hung up the phone I get in my car and drive across town to meet him: I still don't know why I did what he ordered, but I did it. Having never cheated on my husband, and having never been dominated by any man I was a women's libber, through and throughI got in my car and drove to him and became his slave that day.

On Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship morning, after having been involved with him for only about two months, he called me at home as my children were opening their gifts, and while Christmas dinner was in the oven, and ordered me to come to him.

I stammered, trying to explain in a whispered voice that my husband couldn't hear that my family wouldn't understand my leaving, but he wouldn't have any of it. There's not room here to provide the explanation I gave my family, or how our relationship developed, so I'll just say he got on that Christmas Ladies seeking nsa Camden Tennessee 38320, and that afternoon, what you want this Christmas.

It's out there, and I just know you'll get it. What an inspiring story! I wish you could write again and tell us what you told your family that Christmas morning. You can even email me if you want,my email is here somewhere. Thanks for the confidence you have that I will get what I crave. I wish you a fun Christmas this year full of the fond memories you have from when the black guy dominated you: My black master suggested Sex lady fat sexs speaking at Edison make Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship something that couldn't be verified, maybe regarding someone who I knew, but my family didn't.

As you might guess, I was mortified and not thinking clearly, having to leave my family on Christmas morning, but I took my relationship with this man seriously, so I stood in the living room, in tears they were real, but not for the reason I offeredand told my husband and children Women looking for sex Chingore a woman at work who had just moved here had to go to the E.

I was sick, sick, sick about lying to them on Christmas, and sick with the shame of doing that I drove like a maniac to meet him at a horrible little dive of a motel out Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship the airport, where he had me blow him in the parking lot in broad daylight as the price of my admission to the room. Yes, in the parking lot, and not inside the car: The desk clerk came out to complain, and my master had me blow HIM, too, as compensation for both the room and my public indiscretion.

And I left even more fully "owned" by him, and more in love with him, than ever. I remained his happy slave for over fifteen years: But I still love him and still consider myself owned by him. I am his property, and I will always Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship so. I wish you that kind of Christmas this year.

Oh, and how many undiagnosed std's do you have by now that you are probably unknowingly spreading? Amazingly,no STDs,I just had a check-up last week. I have been luck,careful and blessed. I have no desire to ruin a marriage. It doesn't matter if you "desire" to ruin things for someone else or not.

You are undermining her commitment to someone else. That means nothing to you? Then your ethics are Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship. I think you enjoy undermining others' relationships. Especially because you like to go after happily married women? Maybe because you don't have a good relationship of your own you like to undermine others' relationships?

Oh, and by the way? Standard STD testing typically does not include testing for herpes. Did you know that? So make sure you ASK for herpes testing.

You may be in your 40's but you clearly never grew up. I test for everything! Claiming to be happily married and being happily married are two different things. No is Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship and yes is yes.

When I hear no,I move on till I get a yes. When a married woman asks me for a date,I am not going to say no because the next guy is gonna say yes. I don't want to miss out. It will Internet online dating morally wrong to deny that woman what she likes,wants and deserves!

How is "morality" based on giving someone else "what she wants"? If she wants to kill small children and Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship them and it gets her off sexually As for std's, you'll still get one eventually.

Many std's don't manifest symptoms for months and years. You won't know you're infected by some woman who doesn't even know SHE'S infected and transmitting something to you. Maybe they have worked out their differences and they find the irreconcilable? You sound very angry,I am sorry if your wife or hubby or boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you. You're not sorry one bit if anyone has cheated on me or if I'm cheating on someone or if anyone is cheating on anyone so don't fake apologize.

I'm not angry at all. Which doesn't make me an angry person but a factual one. Or only ones with boyfriends? They're probably still someone else's woman Sometimes there is no such thing as a truly single or a married woman. There is just a woman. A Sexy wife want real sex Southaven woman,just like a married one.

I know single women who have multiple boyfriends and each thinks he is the one and only. I have been Beautiful lady wants horny sex Southaven over women sexually and I have worked in a women dominated industry for over 25 years,I know what I am talking.

You strike me as a guy who will commit suicide if you see your wife or girlfriend saying hi to the mailman. One can lock a woman in ventilated drum Wilmot OH sex dating throw away the key;she will still figure out a way to get out and go cheat if she so desired.

Actually,more Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship women,compared to married men, cheat. I want to be the man of choice for a cheating married woman. I have no shame about that. The woman desires what I have to offer and I will give it to her. Its a demand and supply kind of situation I learned, later, in my MBA classes. I am thinking you are not very exposed to women and am not even sure if you are a man or woman. Your supply and demand theory just rationalizes what you do.

There is no way to redeem or excuse what you do. I'm not espousing any particular religion or philosophy. Except for your's I guess. Hope you ever figure that out. Secondly,I never have to lie to sleep with any woman. I have learned that the truth gets me more women than I can get lying. I am not aiding and abetting anything actually,am meeting a need. I am glad to know you are a married woman and things are going well for you.

Many self assured women, like you, are shocked to find out that their husbands,who appear so trustworthy,have been having affairs for years and even have kids. Look at our General, who admitted last month to have carried on an affair with a younger woman. Not even the most respected security agencies in the world found that out till a mistake was made.

relationshi I belief strongly in ethics. There Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship no pre-package ethical standard universally accepted on this issue.

Its unethical to deny a woman what she so strongly wants,desires and deserves. I have slept with many women who think like you and brag about how faithful they are.

One time,I seduced a happily married woman for 3 months. When she went home,hubby asked her where she had been all nite and she gave an explanation that did not seat well with him. I seduced her because she looked good and she was always very nice and friendly towards me and could even give me hugs. Looking for one 64704 b garr age 30 your hubby was not satisfying you mentally and sexually,what would you do?

I hope you give us a truthful answer and be ethical about it. If that kind of thing matters to you. Secondly, do you relarionship know what "ethical" means or "unethical" means? Yes, remember, families lookiing involved as there are sometimes children as well- children whose mothers YOU are helping cheat on their fathers. Marriage is NOT only about sexual satisfaction. What would I do about being sexually dissatisfied if I was?

Relqtionship what I just wrote. Ethics lont to right and wrong,morality, etc. You did not really answer my question. You will never change my view on this. I will keep doing women including married ones. I have a new lookong lined up for tomorrow: And of course you won't change your mind. Have a wonderful time continuing to undermine ter people's relationships.

I think you like me You keep coming back here trying to see what I wrote didcreet to your mindless replies. Anyway,you did a half ass job answering my question and I am bright enough to see that. I bet you you had a 1. I did not ask you what everybody else does or would do,I asked you what YOU would do. Anybody and their mom would do what you just said and some of the women Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship have dealt with have done more than you stated. Therefore,you were not truthful and did not grasp a very basic question,your answer is unacceptable.

Read my question Married looking near Ederney area then then read your answer 5 times and see if it answers disvreet question the way Dlscreet asked fot. Always answer the Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship the question wants you to,not relationwhip way you think you should answer.

Maybe that's how you answer your hubby and he puts up with that. Yes,I have been sticking it somewhere today. Also eiscreet the OP: That's why you I am a fun girl on the internet and brag, brag, brag about what you do- that is, if even any of it is true. Probably white women want nothing to do with you and it just enrages you. So you come here and pretend you're some big black stud and it's probably all bullshit.

Lol,why are you so angry with me? Happy Call girl Cranston bbw Year to you. How have you been? Sorry it has been a while. I hate to take this to another year but I need to let you know that, whether you admit it or not,you have developed a crush on me. If you want to prove me wrong,try me.

I don't brag,I state facts. White married women like you are my specialty. I pleasure them sincerely,honestly and discreetly. Its what turns me on the most. If you meet me in a grocery store,you will never suspect that I do that. So go ahead and flatter yourself and think I like you too but you'd be dead wrong. In answer to your drunken rambling and accusations, I'll spell it out Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship you again, since you don't apparently digest anything I say fof it doesn't agree with your SELFISH path in life That's called having integrity.

I like this website, that's why I come back to it and not for the benefit of YOU. You finally understood my question and even answered in right and in an educated manner. You get an A for forthrightness! Some of the women I do have done what you just stated.

For some reason or another,they have not left their spouses. That is beyond my control. My objective is to supply what Married guy looking for discreet long term relationship want and satisfy their immediate needs and I honestly do that well.